Don’t Be Afraid of The Dark

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   I  remember during one of the darkest times in my life when I was faced with disillusionment, hurt, fear and confusion in my second marriage, I found more strength in the end than I ever thought possible.  My world had come crashing down around me and the love and trust  that I had thought I had found had disappeared into the night as magically as if they were cards played in a magicians hand. The loving husband had turned out to be a big time drug dealer and had been arrested and sent to jail.   I felt lost and alone, afraid of my own shadow in that great big house with just me and my teenaged daughter to care for.  Yet because of her I had to show strength…’fake it till you make it’.  Rather than focus on what I had lost, I began to realize that the obstacles that lay before me were sent to make me stronger and I refused to allow myself to be defeated.  Although I felt as if I really wanted to just lay down and die from the pain in my heart, I had a bigger reason to keep on going…to keep on fighting my way back to myself…and that was my daughter.  I had to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart, my dreams of a happy family, and my life, and think about what to do next. I prayed.

The events that followed were as a game of dominoes as they fell into place for us so much better than I could ever have planned for myself. I remember telling myself, “I can’t wait until next year.”  I felt that if I could just see next year I knew I would have survived that dark time.  As Louisa May Alcott said, ” I am not afraid of the storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”  The situation that I found myself in could have left me as devastated as I was feeling a great part of the time that I muddled through that period.  However, deep in my heart I knew that in life if we become devastated by our circumstances, we become prisoners to those circumstances; but if we learn from them they would make us wiser in the end.  In that dark time of my life, yes, I was afraid, but I remembered the passage from my Bible that said, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the valley of death, I will fear no evil.”  I kept repeating that passage.  The other was, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them out of them all.”  Those passages, and the love and support of my family got me through those dark days and on to my new start. I eventually wrote a book, Broken Promises that actually was better than therapy.

Looking back on those dark, fearful days, let me share with you what I have learned:

1. I don’t allow my problems to lead me, I take lead of my problems.  I look at them as an opportunity to see what my capabilities are and I have found that I am a phenomenal woman!

2.  My attitude has a great deal to do with how I handle my problems.  I can handle them with fear because I think I have to handle them alone, or I can face them with boldness because I know I am not alone… God has my back.  There is a song by Jackie Velasquez that I love, When I’m on my Knees that says…

“There are days when I feel
The best of me is ready to begin.
Then there’re days when I feel
I’m letting go and soaring on the wind.
Cause I’ve learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive.

I get on my knees, I get on my knees;
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don’t know how, but there’s power
When I’m on my knees.”

3.  I have learned to never say that ‘life is hard.’  When you think about  the alternative, I prefer to face life head on because I can never run fast enough or far enough to get away from the problems that may come.  I know that I am a champion. The breakfast of champions is strengthened by obstacles, not  a cereal. Champions are not afraid of the dark.

Dare To Be Who You Are

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   There are many people who live their lives in the shadow of other people.  They are challenged everyday because they don’t know who they are.  As I grow older I find that the easiest thing to do is to just be myself because I find it difficult trying to be what other people want me to be.  There is nothing in life more tiring than trying to live up to someone else’s conforms.  I have missed out on many opportunities by living on other people’s terms and it left me frustrated and unhappy.

Many of our challenges in this world come from not knowing who we are and ignoring our true destinies.  When we walk in the footsteps of others we fail to leave our own footprints.  We end up living our entire life as strangers even to ourselves because we have no idea who the hell we are.  We look in the mirror  and wonder who is that person looking back at us. We have imitated others so long  that we are merely copies of those we have come to admire.  We can never accomplish our own greatness if we continue to imitate someone else.  We have to dare to be ourselves.

I remember in my younger years when I was married to my first husband, he was a part of army reserves and I really desired to become a part as well.  I knew the benefits were awesome and I wanted to experience the travel, the training and the benefit of the education opportunity they offered.  He told me that he didn’t think it would be a good idea because all the women that were in the army reserves were either ‘whores or lesbians’.  I was shocked but didn’t argue the point because I certainly didn’t want to be labeled a whore or a lesbian.  So I remained in the capacity of a housewife which is what he wanted me to be until he said it was okay for me to continue my education.  I accepted his opinion and never questioned it because I had no opinion of my own; which is sad because “a person who has no opinion and only depend on someone else is just a slave to that someone else.” (Frederick Klopstock)

I was a sad sack because I even used to depend on so-called friends to determine what I was to wear and how I was to dress.  Deep down inside I knew what I wanted but I didn’t want to go against the opinions of those who I thought I needed the approval of.  I had began to whittle myself down in order to please everyone else until I had almost nothing left for me. Somehow I  learned to know who I was and not care what other people thought of who I was.    Yes, it took courage because otherwise I would have  had fear and fear leads to conforming to what others wanted me to do. I just had to be who I was and being who I was became the best thing that I could do to become a better me.  I had to realize that I was the only one who could dare to be me.  Until I made peace with myself, however, I could never be content to be who I really was.

I only had one life to live and I needed to learn how to leave my own footprints in the sand.  So I took the dare, and I dared to be who God meant for me to be.  It has been a journey in spite of many obstacles in my way.  However, each day I have challenged myself over and over again that I have to Dare to be who I am.  Dare to be who you are. You are the only one who can be the best you.

Life Is Too Short To Think Small Thoughts

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  My Mother and father always told us to never be afraid to think big.  In fact, although there were eight children, we never considered ourselves poor in the real sense of the word ‘poor’.  I realize that growing up there were people who looked down on our family because they viewed us as ‘those Powell’s’ because all they could see was a bunch of kids that they thought lacked something.  However, we lacked nothing because we always had food on the table, a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, two parents who loved us beyond measure, and we had each other.  What more could you ask for?

 

Our parents always  challenged us to believe in ourselves and to know that our first responsibility in life was to mentally advance our thoughts.  We were taught that if we got our relationship together with God and cultivate our faith in Him, our lives could improve beyond measure.  We get in life what we think we deserve and if we think we deserve little things we will get little things.  However, if we think big, the results will astound us.

 

I know that it can be difficult to believe that good things can come so easy. Sometimes even I allow my faith to wane.  However, I believe its all about attitude and there are times we attract what we think about. There are times when I have wished for something and I didn’t get it and I wondered why. In being honest with myself, I realized it was because I had buried some negative thoughts deep down inside of me that prevented me from accomplishing my desires.  I had to come to the realization that I had to acknowledge and let go of all of those negative resistances so that I could accept those things that I desired in my life.  I was sabotaging my own desires.  I was thinking small.  I was feeling as if I didn’t deserve those things that I was asking for but I didn’t realize that those were the thoughts that I was thinking!

 

There is a young lady who calls me sometimes and asks me for advice.  However, she constantly says things like “There are no good black men available.”  Or she might say “I don’t think I will ever find a husband.”  Another thing she says is “Men are no good!”  And she wonders why she is still  single and alone.  I told her that these thoughts are destructive and they produce negative results.  She is a beautiful young lady and I know that men find her attractive because she gets asked out on dates; however, when she goes on a date she always finds something wrong with her date no matter what.  Something in her past is sabotaging her thought processes to the point where she is unable to meet people where they are and move forward.  Something from her past has her locked and loaded where she is punishing every male she meets for the sins of whoever hurt her in her past.  These thoughts can be discovered only if she allows her mind to be opened and willing to let go of the resistance.  There is someone waiting for her.  When her heart is ready, her lover will be there waiting with open arms.  She just has to think big, let go of the small thoughts, be open for the blessings that God has for her, and know that she deserves to be loved in spite of what happened in her past.

 

We also posses all the mental wealth that we ever need for a prosperous life.  There are no negative circumstances that can keep us imprisoned if we are determined to be free.  When I lived in Indiana I had a salon and I met a woman who was married and I believe at that time she had three children.  She, her husband and her son started going business to business selling cookies.  She would send her son every week  and everyone would always say a resounding “NO!”  However, he just kept coming. He had his mother’s determination but not her enthusiasm.  Statistics show that communication is forty percent verbal and sixty percent nonverbal.  It’s all about attitude.    One day I bought a bag of  cookies because I felt sorry for him,  but I told him he needed to get excited about his own product.  When I tasted them I was amazed at how delicious they were and I told the whole salon. The next day when he came in he had a different attitude and he sold all of his cookies.  After that day if he didn’t come people would ask where he was.  By changing his attitude, he changed his story.  Over the years I wondered what happened to them and went online and did a search.  I spoke to her and was so excited to learn that they are still in business and are now in a brick and mortar bakery. She said that her trust in God has kept them going through tough times and she wholeheartedly believes that her attitude has a lot to do with how her business has survived.  Today instead of going door to door, they are now a full=fledged baker, Heaven Sent Bakery & Catering. She didn’t think small thoughts because she knew that she was capable of lofty levels of prosperity by the grace of God, and now also has added catering to the mix.

Life is much too short to think small thoughts and we get in life what we think we deserve.  If we think small, we get small, if we think big, the results can astound us.  What do you think you deserve?

Conquering Procrastination

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Ok, I have to admit that sometimes I just put stuff off. I even procrastinated about writing this post. I got distracted by so many other things that seemed important at the time. I don’t like to procrastinate because overall, I have made my list, checked it twice, and I know the tasks that I need to complete.   But somehow, something ultimately just comes up and gets in my way so I find that I have to move that task that I had marked important on Monday to Tuesday.  Why do I do that?  Sometimes I think I create so much to do on my list of things to do that I become overwhelmed and just wish that the tasks would just disappear.  Better yet, I wish I had someone to just assign them to besides me.  Has that ever happened to you?

I love having my day organized, knowing what I need to do and when I need to do it.  I love it when the plans that I have made come together and my day goes just as I have planned it.  I can hear myself say, “Plan the work, then work the plan.”  It actually works when I listen to myself.  However, there are times when the Procrastination monster sneaks upon me and before I know it my plan is shot to hell.  I am just being honest.  I could blame it on some technical issues, which does happen sometimes.  I could blame it on my migraines, which happens at times as well.  However, there are times when I find that for some reason, I just cannot make myself move to the next task no matter how I try. Sometimes when I do that I end up with a migraine and I just have to lie down and go to sleep.  Wow, another day messed up.  Then when I am under pressure to meet my deadline I am putting the pressure on myself to get things done.  What is interesting is I find that I can actually get things done very well when I am working under pressure.  It actually made me wonder if I am mentally doing this on purpose.  Okay.  so there.  I admitted it. I think I might be sabotaging myself.  I know that planning is important in order to accomplish my goals.  There are some goals that I have not reached and I truly believe that deep down inside I may be sabotaging myself by procrastinating!

I wondered if anyone else had this same issue so I decided to do something about it today. I realize that I must conquer procrastination!  I sat myself down and  thought of everything that I have been taught and facilitated. I pulled out my presentation of old and refreshed my memory.  So here are five steps that I commit to doing and I hope it inspires you too:

1.  I must set some clear goals.  When I was working at the Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, one of the course modules I facilitated was called SMART Goals. I dug out my little card that I kept from the module S.M.A.R.T. Goals (George Duran, 1981):

  • S – Specific (or Significant).
  • M – Measurable (or Meaningful).
  • A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
  • R – Relevant (or Rewarding).
  • T – Time-bound (or Trackable).

So If I commit to writing my blog, I can’t say “I’m going to write my blog.”  I have to say “I commit to write my blog with 1000 words or less each Monday by 3:00 pm.”  This means I am specific about what I am writing, when and know that it is attainable, it is relevant to my goal and it can be tracked by a time. If I want to lose weight, I can’t say “I want to lose weight.”  I should say “I want to lose 10 pounds by March 31, 2013”  I must be specific.

2.  I must eliminate distractions. I attended a seminar recently called ‘The Elephant in the Room’ by one of my mentors, Belinda Mays.  One of the take-a-ways from that seminar (there were many) was that if we look in the mirror we will find the person who stands in the way of our success.  Yes, it is ourselves. That means  although part of my business is social media, I must not be distracted by the mundane Facebook distractions of the day.  Some of them can be done on my scheduled breaks.  When I am tempted to turn on the TV and watch the Wendy Williams, Steve Harvey,  and The Doctors I have to remember that there is something called DVR.  When my cell phone rings I must learn how to set a time limit for personal calls (I don’t have to eliminate, but learn how to articulate).

3.  Eat the elephant one bite at a time– When I have a huge task that seems to overwhelm me, if I can break it into smaller tasks in order to finish it then do that.  Don’t overload your plate and know what you are capable of doing, then do that.  If you know that you will commit to work 8 hours in a day, don’t load 12 hours of a workload into your day. Only take on what you know you can reasonably handle.

4.  Don’t try to be so perfect– My sister, Renee always tell me that I am a perfectionist.  There are many things that I have put off doing because I didn’t have the perfect setting, or the right paper, or the right equipment, or the right whatever, and someone beat me to the punch.  I watch videos on YouTube and see many non-professionals who took their ideas and just went for it with no thought except they were going to present what they knew.  They now have hundreds of thousands of followers.  I have watched them and thought, “Wow, I would have wanted to video that in a better area, or did she know that her shower curtains are ripped?”  However, in reading the comments, very seldom does anyone even mention the shower curtains.  They are only focused on the presentation of the makeup demo or the hair weaving demo or whatever the case may be.

5. Just Get it Done!- Thomas Felder is one of my favorite people.  He made it to SVP in 85 days. When he was promoted to SVP in Las Vegas, his speech was moving and motivating. He inspires us to get it done because we have the opportunity so we must get it done!   He did it because we live in a land called  ‘Get it Done!’  I remember one week during one of his campaigns he could hardly talk because he had lost his voice and had a fever.  However he forged ahead because he had a deadline and worked through it as if his life depended on it.  Starting today I am sticking to my planner and I will get it done, one bite at a time.

The Art Of Letting Go

I listened in on an awesome Women’s Empowerment conference call on Tuesday evening coordinated by Angela “Sadio” Watson Caroline Mallory, Anita Wade & Special Guest SVP Denair Huggins in 5LINX.  The conference was very empowering in that Denair just brought it all into focus.  Denair is one young lady that I admire greatly, not only because of her strides in 5LINX, becoming an SVP in nine months,  but because of her personal power in overcoming the many setbacks in her life that she has shared.

Yes, I know that we all have struggles, I know I do, but what she has done is taken her struggles and used them to try and help other women who might have encountered similar situations.

Denair told us of how she had been married for ten years when she and her husband got a divorce after having two children.  Not only did he divorce her in the marriage, he divorced the children as well.  She never talked bad to her children about her ex-husband, instead, she picked up where he lacked and became both mother and father to her children.  He left the children because he wanted her to hurt.  It is sad that many parents use children to satisfy their own selfishness.  In turn, the only people that get hurt are the children. She did what she had to do to raise her children into responsible adults. She learned how to let go of the animosity and focus on what was important, her children.  It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

A couple of years ago she was involved in an unhealthy relationship.  Although her gut probably warned her, she made the decision to become involved with this character. He was probably good looking, sexy, you know how we do. Eventually, I imagine she learned the truth about him and tried to leave the relationship. However, when she left, he became a stalker.  He stalked her until he was able to get her in a position of vulnerability.  The result was he almost killed her by strangulation.  She barely escaped.  She lived a life of fear because this man was on the run and not caught right away.  I don’t remember all of the details, and I must confess that I probably don’t have the complete details here, however, he was eventually caught and sent to jail.  We all applauded the day when she had to face her attacker in court to make sure he was punished.  It was indeed a harrowing time for Denair, however, she recognized that she was not a victim, but a victor. She faced her fear head on and all that held her back in order to put it behind her.

The Bible says “All things work together for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.”  It also says, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them out of them all.”

Denair learned that in order to move forward in her life, she had to let go of her hurts.  She had to stand up and not allow those setbacks in her life to allow her to stop moving.   No matter what stood in her way, no matter the challenges, no matter what weighed her down, she forged ahead and let go of the things that were holding her back because she knew that God had something so much bigger in store for her.  She has a mission to share how she has become ‘Unshackled’. You, too, can become unshackled too.

“Some people believe holding on and hanging  in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”  
―     Ann Landers

The Road To Success

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It has been said that the Road to Success has many temptations to make you pull over and park. But if you want to fulfill your dreams, you have to keep moving. If you have a dream of where you want to be in your life, you are the architect. You have to know what you want, set your sites on it, and go after it.  No one can stop you but you…

I have heard several stories about driving through and not stopping in the storms of life and have been encouraged by those stories. I have my own story because I have even been in one of those snow storms when I was commuting between Indiana and Michigan. I was married to my second husband and  I still owned my salon in Indiana and lived in in Michigan.  I loved my salon and could not imagine parting with it.  And I also  loved my home in Michigan which I considered my haven, my spa, my getaway… so I continued the grueling commute because the benefits were so worth the drive.  Like they say, ” It may not be easy, but it’s worth it.”

I remember one winter during one of those snow storms when I was traveling alone and I ran into one of those awful snow storms when I approached exit 139 , near Jackson, Michigan.  It had been snowing heavily off and on throughout my trip but the roads remained clear for the most part.  All of a sudden I ran into an unexpected snow squall.  The road conditions had suddenly changed like night and day without warning. I hadn’t been listening to the radio for the weather.  Traffic wasn’t really heavy at first, so I was relieved that I didn’t have to deal with so many other drivers.  However, I could see some cars and even trucks  had pulled over and had their blinkers on.  I could hear my dad in my head saying, “Don’t stop…keep going”.

Besides the heavy snow, I was concerned about it getting late in the evening and the last thing I wanted was to be stuck in the snow, in the dark on the highway all alone…and besides, I had a goal on my mind…I wanted to get home.  I could envision myself putting the key in the door, walking down the hallway, and getting greeted by my then husband with a great big bear hug and kiss.  I also knew he would have a cup of hot tea, some good food, and the Jacuzzi would be ready with scented oil beads and skin softeners.  I so looked forward to spending those next few days at home and had no intentions of stopping on the side of the road. That was my dream and I intended on turning that dream into a reality.

Although I drove slowly, I knew I was making progress.  I was a good driver, I had good snow tires on my car, I was focused,  I had set my goal, and I was determined to get there….even though that unexpected snow squall appeared.  It was just a setback…  Parking on the side of the road was not an option…however, if I had to take a detour to get to where I wanted to go, I would.  I have learned in life that as long as you know where you are going, and you have a determination to get there, there can be more than one road to take you there, however, you just have to keep moving, you have to stay on a road….just map it out.  Otherwise, if you have NO idea where you are going, ANY road will get you there…I’m sure you’ve heard that before.

I finally got to exit 196 to make my way towards home, although it was still snowing, there was no snow squall.  The roads were clear and I could see bright lights everywhere.  I lived near the airport, but still in a country setting.  As I think about the snow storm, I thought about had I stopped on the side of the road, I might have run out of gas, I might have fallen asleep and lost my momentum for getting back on the road.  I had made sure to check in with my dad and my husband and they both had told me to keep going…don’t stop.  They told me that I would be okay.  I needed that support and encouragement.  My Sisters had called to check on me and told me that I was in their prayers.  I could feel the love of my family with me even though I was physically alone on my journey.  My mom always told me that I am never alone so mentally, I knew that  Jesus was with me.

One of my favorite quotes is one that I became attached to when one of my mentors, Thomas Felder (click on his name ) became Senior Vice President in 5LINX.  He adapted the quote to become his own …”

So keep it moving and don’t stop!
Thanks for stopping by
Beebe Love

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Happy Valentine’s Day to Someone Like You!

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Click on picture to hear song

SOMEONE LIKE YOU

ADELE

 

I missed posting on Wednesday because #1, it was a really busy day for me, and #2 my mind could not remember the awesome thoughts that I really wanted to write about. I could see them in my mind but I could not pull them from my memory shelf!  Does that ever happen to you?  I didn’t write notes and tried to rely on my own memory!  That is not good these days.  I cannot allow that to happen again.  I have to remember that my Samsung Galaxy III has a tape recorder!

I Love that song by Adele, ‘Someone Like You’.  It’s actually a lesson in life that many of us find ourselves in at one time or another.  Although a beautiful song, It tells the story of a pathetically  sad heart singing about a lost love who she had heard  had found a new love and was now married. How many of you has that happened to?  I know of too many to count, including myself. Many of us has had a  love that got away.  In my case, I learned that that particular person was not meant for me in the first place.  However, at the time, I could have been the one writing ‘Someone Like You’. At that time, I wanted to lay down and ‘die’ my heart was so broken. The worst thing was it was not the last heartbreak for me.  In the song, she realized that his dream of finding true love had come true.  It was obvious that in their past, they had talked about a future together, and she had hoped that he would be ‘the one’.  She now realized  that although the dream of true love had come true for him,  it was not something that she could give to him.  He had obviously found it easy to move on to someone else.  How did she find herself in such a position?  She probably hadn’t realized that  the blame was all hers because she had left her heart in the wrong place…

Sadly though,  she wanted to see him one more time to remind him of what they had. “Old friend, she thought,  why are you so shy?  Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light.”  She even considered just showing up in his presence, ‘out of the blue uninvited’ because she could not fight her urge to just see his face one more time. She wanted him to know that for her, it was not over.  So sad…. Didn’t she realize that the man now was married?  She was no longer an interest to him. He had moved on, AND he had a wife…I am sure she wondered ‘how could this happen to me?’  I know I did…you did too, didn’t you?

A person who has learned that its is not the circumstance that happened, but the reaction to that circumstance would realize the futility of this mission and spend some time allowing themselves to grieve…for a moment, then move on with their lives.  Stuff happens. I know… I’m making it sound easy.  Life is hard when you are in that place, however.

But somewhere in the depths of her soul she must have somehow discovered that it was futile to go there, yet at the same time, she wanted him to know the power that he held over her… (as if it would make a difference).  She vowed that she would find someone like him…’  She  wanted him to know that she wished only the best for him, but please ‘don’t forget me…’  She begged him. She wanted to feel that she had been important to him.  She remembered those famous words that he had whispered in her ear back then…actually had warned her, but the magnitude of the warning of those words didn’t dawn on her until now…”Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead…”  Many times men warn us, but we don’t hear them.  We only hear what we want to hear.   What we have to learn is to listen…and believe them….believe what they say.

All the memories they made were still hers, not his…he was making new memories now.  Sometimes it hurts in love…but sometimes it hurts instead. Her heart hurt.  And it hurt bad…

Emotions, according to most dictionaries, are defined as  the internal state of a person’s  being and the physiological response to a particular circumstance based on physical or sensory data of that person. (paraphrased, Merriam Webster).  What I have learned about emotions from my mentor, Joe Syverson, is that we don’t have emotions, we do emotions. When Circumstances are in alignment with our ‘prison’ of emotions, we are happy.  However, when circumstances are not in alignment with our ‘prison’ of emotions, we are the saddest or angriest people on the planet.

The girl is this song is an emotional wreck.  She is suffering from a multitude of emotions…. She is frustrated (that feeling of wanting something to happen in the timeframe that she had planned it to happen, with the person that she had planned it to happen with), she feels guilty (that feeling of ‘I’m not good enough for him) , overwhelmed (that feeling of focusing on too much at the same time) and angry ( the feeling of ‘I have lost something and I want to get it back).

It’s a struggle to get past hurts, especially when  your heart is involved.  However, getting your emotions under control and learning that it is not the circumstances that happen to us, but our reaction to those circumstance is key. Oh how I wish I knew then what I know now…BUT…life is about learning right?  It’s all about the experiences in your life that make you who you are today.  Those hurts that you experience are teachers…they make you strong.  The hurts that Adele must have experienced made her a million dollar song.  The hurt that I might have experienced gave me something to write about in this blog…lol…

My goal is to give you pause to think.  If you find yourself in a situation today….Valentine’s Day…If you find yourself feeling alone and lonely, try and remember that your reaction to your situation determines your outlook.  Change your outlook and you will change your life.  There is so much more out there in store for you.  Go out there and get it!  Leave the past behind.  Live in the present. Let the future take care of itself.  Get up and get dressed.  Go somewhere and have yourself a good time at some nice restaurant…yes…you can even go by yourself or invite a friend if you like.  But don’t sit around just because he’s gone.  You are worth so much more than that.

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”  Lao Tzu

Mastering My Attitude

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 “The  quality of our life is a direct result of our attitude, which is the result of our consistent emotions.”  Joe Syverson

Last week in entrepreneurial training, I had the opportunity to view an awesome video where our coach, Joe Syverson told two stories.  The first story was about three brick layers doing the same job, which was laying bricks.  One day a teacher came by and saw the men working and thought that he would stop and talk to them. They all looked similar, dressed similar, and all were laying bricks. He came to the first man and asked him, “How are you doing?”  The first man said, “It’s hot out here, and I have to lay all these bricks.”  He went on to complain about his day and the work that he had to do and to tell the teacher just how miserable he was and how unhappy he was to be doing the job he had come to do.  The teacher said to him, “I hope your day gets better.”  He then kept walking towards the next worker.

“Our emotions are a result of our conditioned reaction to life circumstances based on our attachment to an opinion.” Joe Syverson

When he got to the next worker, he said, “How are you doing?  The worker #2 said, “I’m good.  How are you?”  The teacher said, “I’m fine, thanks.  What are you doing?” The worker said, “I’m building a wall.”  He talked about the kind of bricks and mortar he was using to build the wall.  He didn’t seem to want to be too distracted because he seemed focused in building his wall as he concentrated on his work.  The teacher wished him well and went on his way.  As he was leaving, he heard someone whistling so he walked towards the sound of the whistling.

There was the worker #3 working and whistling away, laying his bricks.  The teacher walked over to him.  “Good morning, How are you?”  Worker #3 turned to him with a big smile and said, “I am great!  The sun is shining so I know it’s going to be a great day!  His energetic attitude was so positive that it seemed to emanate from his pores!  The teacher then asked him, “What are you doing?”  The worker excitedly said, “Let me tell you, first, you have to stand way back so you can see it….but I am building a church!  Come, let’s go across the street so you can see it better!”  He directed the teacher to cross the street and they stood there looking at the bricks that he had laid.  With pride he showed the teacher his vision of the church that he was building.  With excitement he pointed out where the steeple was going to go.  With enthusiasm he described how the massive entryway was going to look and how beautiful the hand carved doors were going to look.  By the time he had finished his description of ‘showing’ the teacher his vision of what he was building, the teacher could see the church as plain as if it was physically standing there! The teacher thanked him for sharing his vision, wished him a great day and went on his way.

As the teacher left, he wondered about the three men.  They all looked similar, they all came from similar backgrounds, and they all were doing the same jobs of laying bricks.  Yet they all seemed to react differently to the tasks that they had at hand.  What was  the difference? They had the same lunch boxes, they got the same lunch breaks, they were in the same brick layer’s union. What could it be? What made the difference?

“The quality of your life is directly related to your core attitude.  Your core attitude is determined by the cocktail of emotions you choose to live with.”  Joe Syverson

Joe says one our challenges in life is to realize that we as human beings have a choice as to the emotions that we choose to live with.  I thought it was really interesting when he also said we don’t have emotions, we do emotions.   Our own rules of the emotions we choose to keep  in our lives become our own prison.  Wow. So what I learned is, it’s not the circumstances that happen to us in life that we get our panties all tied up in a notch about, its our reaction to those circumstances.  In other words, in my own prison of emotions that I have chosen to live with,  if what I view from a circumstance is negative to me, my emotional reaction is not going to be good.  However, if the circumstance is in alignment with my prison of emotions, then all is well with the world and I am a happy camper.

After watching the video, the question was asked what was our take away from it. I thought about the three brick layers and  I was enlightened about my own attitude.  I can truly say I try not to ever be like bricklayer #1.  However, I do remember feeling like him a few times on my last job because I was so miserable. LOL.   So If anyone is reading this and you were one whose shoulder I cried on during that time, I truly apologize…:)  I was usually more like bricklayer #2.  I would stay on that job diligently just laying the bricks…whatever the task was I would do that task until it was complete with no thought to it except finishing that task.  It was just a job and someone had to do it. The someone was me. The atmosphere, I felt there was that I was not appreciated but I would do it anyway as long as I was there. I was the walking martyr in my mind…doing the work for the people until I could be released from my JOB prison.  There was no passion in the job for me but I was committed because my word was my bond…and I needed that check. LOL. I was just building a wall.

I strive to be more like bricklayer #3.  I want to be a visionary in all that I survey.  I want to see the BIG picture and be able to show others the same.  I want to master my own visions by being able to not look at just laying the bricks, but to stand back and see the whole church in everything I do!  Can you see your church as you lay your bricks? Stand Back.

Coming Full Circle

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The  nature of God is a circle of which the center is everywhere and the  circumference is nowhere.
Empedocles

I woke up this  morning with this  phrase “Coming full circle” on my mind.  It is defined in the dictionary as ‘completing a cycle, or returning to your beginning’. (Dictionary.com)  I thought about that and wondered if it was a good thing or a bad thing and why was it on my mind…where did it come from.  In coming full circle, it sounds like  it means that a person went through a lot of life’s lessons, they should have learned from those lessons, and for some reason, the lessons that they learned fell by the wayside and now they are back at the beginning…back to where they started.  Am I missing something? I was feeling confused.

In thinking further about this, I thought it could mean that one who came from meager beginnings worked their way through obstacles and forged on to become great in the field of medicine.  Then they returned to their humble beginnings to help those that they left behind and to thank and maybe even assist the ones who influenced them to become the great person that they are.  That sounds like a full circle…only better.

I liked that scenario. So in thinking of that, I wonder what I would need to do to ‘come full circle’ before my mission on this earth is over.  Where is my beginnings and where do I need to go back to and thank and maybe even assist those who have encouraged me to be the person that I am today?  Or should I wait until I get to be the successful person that I truly strive to be? I better get busy….

Hello World!

Snapshot_20130208_5Welcome to Beebe Love’s Chronicles Blog.  I started this blog because I have lots say and I hope that what I say is relevant, my thoughts and ideas are helpful, useful, informative and entertaining.

Now that I have told you my why, let me tell you who I am.  I am Beebe Love.  I am a writer, a wife, a mother, and an entrepreneur, to name a few. Welcome to my world!