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Monthly Archives: January 2017

The Finer Things In Life

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

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Growing up in a large family of 10, which included 8 children, I use to wonder what my parents were thinking in having so many children.  Being the eldest of the 8, I felt that I was at an unfair disadvantage having to deal with all of those bratty kids!  My mom, however, seemed to have such patience with all of us bratty kids.  I have no idea where she got the energy or the patience from in dealing with us.  She was constantly cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, and being an overall chauffer and bottle washer.  She was a stay at home mom until my younger sister graduated from high school and then decided it was time for her to go back to school and then work outside the home.  Even then, she took the time to always prepare three meals per day.  Our lunches were prepared before we went to school, we always had a nourishing breakfast, and in the evening when we all made it home, we had a hot meal on the table. I don’t know how she did it all.

Dinner was served each evening once our dad got home.  It was unheard of for us to eat before he got home.  He was the king of the house and our mother was the queen.  There was a time when we felt abused, especially when the neighborhood kids bragged about having Kentucky fried chicken, Burger King and McDonalds for dinner.  The only time we had those kinds of meals for dinner was when we traveled.  Even then, those opportunities were limited.  We longed for the ‘finer things in life’, but our mom would pack sandwiches or sometimes fried chicken and other goodies and that is what we would eat.  We had what was sort of like a picnic in the car when we stopped for gas.  We could not understand why we had to sit at a table when we were home, unable to watch TV, and eat food that she made.  It didn’t matter what she cooked, it didn’t matter how good it was… it was just not KFC.  So mean.  In fact, we couldn’t even watch TV before dinner either because after school, we had homework to do as well as chores before our dad came home, then off to bed very soon after dinner because we had school then next day.  We actually had a lot of fun in those days in spite of our mean parents.  Sometimes we had our own Motown Review or our Soul Train experience and other times we were allowed outside to play if we finished homework and chores first.  We felt so deprived!  At least we thought so.

Looking back at that time in our lives we have come to learn how to really appreciate all of the time spent in the kitchen, the family dinners at the table, and the sacrifices our parents made in order to make our lives comfortable, even if we didn’t have the sense to appreciate it back then.  Sometimes, as children, we can be so ungrateful.  We had no idea just how blessed we were.  As a divorced, working mother, there were times that I wished that I had been able to give my children the daily care that our mom gave us.  Many times, it was late in the evening before I even had time to help them with homework.  The good thing was I owned my own salon so I was able to have my children close to me while I worked.  However, there were times when I had to hire a tutor or take them to the Sylvan center in order to make up for what I couldn’t give them.  I made it a point to take them to a sit down restaurant on Fridays to make up for not being able to spend the time during the week.  I love to cook but rarely found the time because I was at the salon so late.  Dinner consisted most of the time of fast foods and carry outs…the types of meals we wished for when we were kids…the finer things in life.  However, as an adult, I felt that I was depriving my children of the best of me even though I worked very hard to provide for them.

One year I gave our parents an appreciation certificate to show them just how much I appreciated our large family, those home cooked meals around the table, the lack of fast foods and no TV at dinner.  They took such good care of us and it took us into adulthood to finally learn how to appreciate them for the selfless love and care they gave us.  It is so funny when I look back at all the years we took them for granted.  However, we were blessed to finally learn to appreciate them and have time to spend with them and show them just how grateful we were and still are. Our mother died at a young age of 59. We were blessed to have our dad until the young age of 75.  We miss them so much but we have such good memories.  The eight of us siblings continue to be close and enjoy spending time with each other whenever we can. Life has a way of teaching us that the things that we took for granted were truly the ‘finer things in life.  We had wished for finer things when we had them all along.

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Hiding Under The Stairs

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

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When I was a little girl, we once lived in a big white Victorian style house with a wrap-around porch and inside, a huge staircase.  At least it seemed huge to me at the time. We rented one side of the house from Mrs. Blevins, a really nice rich old lonely lady who loved for us to come and visit.  I remember her serving us warm rice with butter and honey and a little cream.  Her husband had died a few years earlier, and she rarely had company so we became somewhat like her family.  I loved that big old house and I loved the big porch, my family and Mrs. Blevins.  However, there were times when I felt sad or lonely and there were times when I didn’t want to talk to my family or Mrs. Blevins.  I just wanted to be alone all by myself  just to think my little…

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Savoring The Moments…

02 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by Beebe Love Chronicles in Random Thoughts

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being aware, faith, goal setting, purpose, savor the moments, self reflection, written goals

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(This is an edited repost from an Ezine Article that I wrote in 2014)

I have always dreamed of becoming a writer, having a great relationship with my husband, being completely present in the lives of my children, and having complete faith and trust in God. However, for most of my  life I have allowed myself to become plagued by fear and anxiety, leading me to avoid many of the things I wanted and settling for some things I didn’t want. I was so afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone that I failed to go after those things my heart truly desired. I suffered from knowing who I really was, what I really wanted, and what I was capable of accomplishing. One day I hand an epiphany.  My life was passing me by, and  if I were to leave this world at that moment, what would ‘they’ say about me?  Who’s life had I touched? What experiences did I share? What had I accomplished? I searched my heart and I came to realize that I had not been present in any memorable moments.

One of my sisters had asked me on several occasions  about some times in my life that she remembered being a part of and I could only vaguely recall those times. How could she remember moments that should have been important to me in my life when I could not? I knew I was there but all of the important details were like faded words on a chalkboard. I had been mechanically living from day to day, but not savoring any of the moments.  When at work, I could not wait for vacation. While on vacations, I worried about things that I needed to do at home. When I found myself being swamped at work, I found myself just wishing I had time to just relax at home. The problem was, I had no idea what it looked like to relax. I worried about the past and I worried about the future while the present was passing me by. It was time for me to learn how to savor the moment and learn how to live life on purpose.

Through self reflection I began to realize that even though I was not even aware of it, I had made some strides in my life. The problem was that I was so busy thinking about what future things I needed to do, and past things I should have done, that I allowed my present moments to just slip right through my fingers. And many times, those future things that I worried so much about, never materialized for many reasons and the things of the past, well, there was nothing that I could do about that. I had no written goals, I just had wishes. I read somewhere once that a goal not written is just a wish; and I had just been wishing my life away.

I started writing down goals in a little green notebook. I wrote not only career goals but personal goals, making sure I included some fun goals. I found if I just allowed myself, I could actually enjoy the times spent with family on vacations, with friends or just some time alone. I started enjoying my times in the kitchen experiencing a new recipe. I found that I still enjoyed reading and writing in my journal. I dug into my storage box and found my old journals and began to write one of those novels that I had told myself that I would write… some day. I completed the novel and published it in 2012.  I  now enjoy writing blogs, newsletters,  poems and creating new recipes. I find reasons to laugh, time to travel, and enjoying nature. I even go camping! I have become so AWARE of all the things and places that I enjoy and the many things that I am capable of accomplishing. I made a decision to  set goals to retire in January 2015 and work for myself at home. (I actually did it!)

I love finding quiet places to read, write, sing, listen to music, creative DIY and culinary projects as well as gardening. These activities really give me a sense of calmness and create smiles on my face and joy in my heart. I love being completely absorbed in the moment, savoring the enjoyment of it all. I always look forward to exploring something new.   My soul is nourished and I am able to transcend the  limits I had allowed other people as well as myself to place on me. My goal in life  now is to savor each  moments and live my life on purpose.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Barbara_Powell_Love/963330

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